Raise a glass to 2012

As has been my  annual tradition, I have generally and enthusiastically assessed the year-ending in terms of my successes, my failures, where I am now and where I’m heading.  But this year, somehow, I don’t have the “geduld” [that’s Yiddish for patience] to make the lists, to look at what I’ve done or not done, with the same excitement and fervor as I have in years past.

In my creative world, I have performed in new venues, shared the stage with many terrific artists and musicians alike, created new coaching classes, have co-taught with musicians and learned folks for whom I have much respect, coached singers and have been inspired by their enthusiasm and courage, met new audiences and made many new fans and friends.  Yet somehow, it just doesn’t feel like enough.

In my personal world, I have a husband who I adore and who loves me unconditionally (when I’m not doing something that completely annoys him) and who is my biggest fan.  His family. My family.  Our little farm in San Francisco, including the dogs, the chickens, the turtles and the fish.  All who bring me great joy.

Perhaps the “recession/depression” our country is in has also gotten to me.  I have become much more politically attuned – and mostly don’t like what I see or hear.  I did not grow up in a “dysfunctional family.”  We were really quite normal.  But I do believe our country is quite dysfunctional right now and it doesn’t make me feel good, nor do I know, really,  how I can help. Worse than that is that I don’t see at all how our government is going to come back together in my lifetime. I feel alienated by so much of the “noise.”   I don’t feel like I belong.

So I am left with the questions …  “What is it that I CAN do?”  “How can my music take me up and out?”  “What difference can I make through my music and my teaching to my family, my friends, my fans, and to me?”

I guess my job over the next year is to discover more of the questions whose answers will guide the next phase of my journey.

2012, I look forward to meeting you head on

P.S.  -  Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Kwanzaa and I hope I didn’t miss anything!

Death of a Hero

I started to entitle this entry “Death of a Genius” and then I discovered he was a “Hero.”  Of course, I am talking about the passing this week of Steve Jobs.

First let me tell you why I changed from “genius” – which of course he was – to “hero.”  I went to the Apple website where they have a beautiful photo of Mr. Jobs.  I thought I would copy and save the photo to paste here.  When I clicked on the image, I discovered that the photo was titled “t.hero“.  How perfect.

Steve Jobs, 1955 - 2011

Steve Jobs did not just live his life as a “visionary and creative genius”, but he lived his dying with a grace and a knowing that can only be an inspiration to all of us.  He lived an inspired life. He lived passionately.  He didn’t stop.  He kept moving forward. He knew what he loved and was passionate about those loves.  And of course, he knew because he searched for what he would ultimately love until he found it.

The Stanford University commencement speech he delivered to the 2005 graduating class spoke deeply about who he was.  This speech is a lesson to all of us since he explained in so very clear terms, what it meant to live, and to live knowing we are going to die.  This speech is a teacher’s teaching. It is rich with meaning.  SEE THE VIDEO & READ THE ENTIRE SPEECH HERE. 

I have read and re-read and listened to and watched the entire Steve Jobs’ Stanford address many times this week. I am moved by who he was and so very saddened by his so-young death.

Yet, look at what he accomplished and the difference he has made in the world with his vision and persistence in so short a life. Quite extraordinary. I don’t know that we will see another like him in my lifetime but I hope one shows up in the next.

To all of us who keep pursuing our dreams, I say “amen.”

And as Steve Jobs reminds us …  

“Almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Rest In Peace, Steve Jobs.

Thank you for your service to humanity. 

What does teaching do? For me the coach? For you the student?

In response to an essay I recently read by Stu Hamstra, Cabaret Hotline Online, entitled ARE CABARET WORKSHOPS, CONFERENCES AND MASTER CLASSES WORTHWHILE?,  I commented ….

As someone who has been “coaching, teaching, putting on seminars and workshops and master classes” for singers, and someone who has taken many, many, many of them myself, I really appreciated this essay.  The most valuable aspect, I think, is that the “students” take what they learn out into the world, if in fact that is what they came to the workshop to do.

Since I work with folks at all levels, it’s also true that some participants would not be singing out at all and this is their opportunity to do their dream.  For some, the concert at the end of the program is the dream. “

And then there’s what I get from coaching others – first off, I’m like a mother-hen and am proud of my students as they grow week after week, and then shine in performance. You can often find me weeping with joy and pride as I witness their growth.

And magically, which all coaches and teachers know, there’s my own learning – I grow from teaching. I remind myself of what works so I can reincorporate that back into my own performance; and what doesn’t work so I can re-look at my own work to see if I am doing what I say to do.

* * * *

So now I go off to Seattle to co-lead a workshop with Arnaldo! 

Linda Kosut & Arnaldo! Performance Workshop

A performance workshop in the American Cabaret Style will have a concert on Saturday evening, October 1 with performances by the participants in the workshop and of course, Arnaldo! and me. Concert tickets: $20 + 2-drink min. Space is limited to reserve your seats now. 

Critics are teachers, too

I have found that reading reviews of others in your field is an important part of learning a craft, whether or not you agree with the reviewer/critic.  Agreement is not relevant – it is being able to see from where the reviewer is looking when she/he makes comments on an artist.  Distinctions that we might not be able to see at first.  How they comment. What they say about an artist.  My focus, of course, is on reviews of vocalists, since that’s my interest.

Reading and understanding reviews is a kind of homework, not unlike the homework one might do when learning a style of music. Sometimes you might just listen to the great artists of a particular style  - listening to their phrasing, spacing, how they attack a note, arrangements, what the musicians are doing behind the singer, etc. – and in listening “commitedly,” one learns.

The goal is not to imitate another singer, but to find a way to have your sound be authentic in that style; finding how you can add that essence to your own unique signature style and  performance technique. What makes one person unique might not be what makes you unique, but understanding theirs is a way to define and create your own style.

When a critic writes a review, I often find myself asking “What would they say about me?” or “How would I have to be performing to garner that statement? That review?” or “Would those adjectives ever be used to define me as a performer?” or  ”What would they say about me now?” and “What would I like to have said about me?”  And then, of course, “What would I have to do to accomplish that?”

Reviews that I covet as teaching tools

Take for example, this written about Andre Segovia in a New York Times review of a recent concert of this extraordinary musician:
“When asked at age 94, how can you keep going,  Andre Segovia, master guitarist, said  ’You know what I think? If I am tired now, I don’t mind, because I have eternity to rest.’ “

How about this review of Marilyn Maye, also from the New York Times:
“Simply for her stamina, Ms. Maye, 81, is a phenomenon. She performed the entire show standing up, without having to catch her breath, her pitch unwavering. Her voice at the end of the evening had as much body and suppleness as at the beginning.”

Or even from a review in the Jazz Times for my Oscar Brown Jr. tribute CD:
” It takes as fine an actor as Brown to do proper justice to his songs.  So, it seems altogether fitting that a female cabaret performer (the best of such artists renowned for their superior ability to act more than sing songs), particularly one as gutsy as Linda Kosut, should pay album-length tribute to Brown.”

Today’s inspiring review

And in today’s New York Times there is a review of Kurt Elling’s show at Birdland, NYC entitled “Pivoting from Patter to Poetry” by Ben Ratliff, which you can find in its entirety by clicking here! One of the many things said about Mr. Elling in this review which hit home to me most, was what was written in the last 2 paragraphs of this review … about reaching out to and including your audience in your performance so they are truly on your side. Even the greats, like Mr. Elling, do this and it seems, quite thoughtfully.

“Mr. Elling’s baritone voice has range and resonance, and he can make it swell and strain to reach his high register or go very loud so that it distorts and almost cracks, with at least a reference to real emotion. It’s so effective when he does this that it can feel bullying or manipulative. But through microphone technique and a sense of pacing, he uses that power sparely. He’ll open only part of his mouth or sing away from the microphone or cuts vowels short.

“When he finally did bring his voice to full capacity,  it came only in the set’s last few minutes. But you might have expected that he’d wait till the very end to clobber you. Even before the set began, he made a point of shaking hands and talking for a minute or so at each table in the club’s entire front row. He was setting up a kind of contract with the audience, and he never broke it.”

I invite you to share reviews here that inspired you.

Just a simple post

I can’t believe I have not written one word, not a peep, not a nothing in my blog since August.  There is so much to say, and yet I say nothing.

Well, I’ll work more on that after December 6 – that being the last of a 6 show run that I have done at the Rrazz Room in San Francisco this year. Had the 6 dates been in one week, that would have been easier. But no, they were once each in March, April, May, June, September and now December. Each show different. Several sharing with other guest headliners. All having new material sung by me.

And this one coming up, 20 new songs. With 1+ weeks to go, I might not learn them all cold, but I’m okay about that for now.  Might have to have lyrics with me on stage. I’ll be so charming, no one will notice.  Clearly, this is not my preference, but it will work.  The songs and arrangements are wonderful and I’ve had the pleasure of sharing the arranging with some fabulous local musicians – Dave Austin, Mike Greensill, Kelly Park, Max Perkoff, and of course, my musical director for this venture, John Simon.

The show itself has a great theme, one that has been in the think tank for years and finally coming to fruition.  The show is called “By Any Other Name” – What is that?  Songwriters can name their songs anything they want, including the same title of a previously published tune. Think “Time After Time” written in 1947 by Sammy Cahn and Julie Styne. Does it measure up to Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” of 1984? How about “All By Myself”?  Which melody do you hear first? Eric Carmen’s from 1975 or the 1921 melody of Irving Berlin?

And my band is awesome, too – John Simon, piano/musical director; John Mader, percussion (just off his one-year + run with Wicked in San Francisco); Tom Shader, bass (the amazing bass player on my Bistro/BMI Award Winning CD Long As You’re Living); and the uber-talented Tony Malfatti, my one-man horn section and back-up vocalist.

Oh, how do you get to see me live next week?  Well, come on down to the Rrazz Room – just click here for all the info.

I’ll be posting some videos soon from all my shows this year, the ones at the Rrazz Room, as well as my one-off in New York at Don’t Tell Mama this past September.  I’m very proud of the work I’ve done this year and grateful for all the support. And for the opportunity to have played with some great musicians and vocalists.  What a blast this has been.

Let’s see what I can figure out for next year.

Is it already the end of Week 1?

The good news is, I have actually done one of the assignments from Week 1 every day this week – that is, the list of 5 successes in a day.  Things like “I polished a couple of forks.” Yes, when the tines get dark, they need silver polish; so I polished 2 forks. Not bad. Nothing to do with music but it’s the little things we finish that count.  How about 15 minutes in the garden. That, too, looks small but is a big deal.

Now onto the bigger challenges for me – the book is open to, and has been open to, page 19 – setting goals. many goals. With those dreaded “BY WHENs”.  What about setting deadlines really gets me so upset?  I have no problem with  (well, not as much of a problem with) creating the goal.  But I get this nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach at  just the thought of adding a BY WHEN to the goal – it  immobilizes me. I don’t think I can ‘outsource’ my goals. They are not exactly tasks. So perhaps, I will just bookmark this page, write a goal or two, without the dreaded BY WHEN and then move on to Week 2.

Okay. That feels much better. ONWARD!

Week 1, Day 1 – I already hate this.

At the suggestion of my dear friend and trusted colleague, Nancy Tierney of Firecracker Communications, I purchased Ariel Hyatt’s book “Music Success in Nine Weeks” and as of page 18, I already hate this. Now, why do I already hate it? I have been so burned in my past by setting goals with timelines (a.k.a. the awful “by when will you complete this?” syndrome) that I am ready to give up before barely beginning.

I understand that I can do as much or as little as I can, but homework and by-whens and I have never really gotten along well.

All I can say now is … “we shall see.”

Paperwork vs Performing … in my world!

I have spent the better part of yesterday and today paying bills, filing invoices, budgeting, updating my spreadsheets, updating Quicken, balancing the checkbook, figuring out what to cancel to save money, analyzing our portfolio, etc. etc.  And do you know what?  I LOVE doing this.  It grounds me. This stuff I can do blindfolded. The years I spent in business, as an exec assistant at the CEO level, as a market research analyst, as a math major in college, whatever, this, calms me down. Brings me back to my “ground zero.”

Today, I also watched all the videos of the first 4 Rrazz Room shows, and I must say, I am very pleased with my work.  Of course, I could see what is not working for me, where I can improve and what to pay attention to when I am performing, but on the whole, I am very happy.  Even in the show in which I got “the worst review of my career to date”, I can honestly say, that I disagreed with the critic.  Not defensively, as I was open to see what he saw, but I didn’t see that.  And where I was so upset for a very long time about what the critic said about me, I am more convinced than ever that it truly was one man’s opinion.  And not the opinion of the whole.  So can I learn from that; yes. The biggest learning is to trust what I do.

What does my performing and doing paperwork have in common?  Well, I wish they had more in common.  That is, it’s in that world of administration, I am completely confident; I rarely ever second-guess myself.  Yet, in the world of music and performing, I don’t have the same level of confidence, and so, I do second-guess myself.  I do wonder if I was good or not.  Did my audience really enjoy me and what I gave?

In reality, I spent nearly 50 years in business and yet only 10 in the performing arts. I guess I can afford to ease up on myself in that genre. And keep finding the path to self-confidence in one from understanding the experience of confidence from the other.

Thoughts?

#4 in the series …

I am fast approaching number 4 of  the 6-show series that I booked at San Francisco’s Rrazz Room. It’s a great club if you haven’t been there yet, secreted away in the back of the lobby of the Nikko Hotel. And unless you know to go there, you don’t even know it is there. There is a beautiful and comfortable lounge/bar area right outside the club and you don’t even hear the music from the club when you’re sitting there…which is both the good news and the bad news because you could be missing out on some great shows and extraordinary entertainment.

Linda Kosut, photo: Kingmond Young

This has been quite the challenge putting these shows together, arranging for the right musicians for each show, the perfect guest artist and getting people to come see us. That’s probably 95% of the work.  Leaving maybe 5% for the creative part – selecting and learning new music for me to perform at each event. Wow! Even I’m impressed with myself for pulling it off so far.

The first show in the series was my birthday celebration and the first major show I’ve put together in quite a few years.  Next came Jack Pollard and me in “When Worlds Collide – Cabaret meets Rhythm & Blues.”  And then just this past Monday was “When Girls Just Want to Have Fun” with my special guest, Arnaldo! We paid tribute – he to his mus Eartha Kitt, and me to my muses – some songwriters whose work inspires me, including of course, Oscar Brown, Jr., and Lyle Lovett, and Bruce Springsteen.

And now there is one more in this Spring series to go before my Summer “Break”.  It’s not really a break but more of a regrouping. I’ve got lots of small and wonderful local gigs lined up and looking forward to setting up the next “tour” during that break.  I have not performed in New York in over a year, so I’m due.  I have not performed a whole show in Seattle and hopefully that will happen.  And I have not performed in Los Angeles since 2007 – so I’m overdue.

Linda appearing with ... Arnaldo! (May 17) and Nancy Tierney (June 14)

But more about this next show - June 14 - with my dear friend and former Bay Area bud, Nancy Tierney. Nancy moved to New York, Kingston to be exact, a little over a year ago.  And we miss her here on this coast. It’s so odd to me that so many of my close San Francisco/music community friends have move to New York in the past few years.  That’s my hometown you know.

So Nancy and I are doing this jazzy, swingin’ show of songs that lament and say hoorah to moving coast to coast. Me, born and bred in New York, moved to San Francisco 24 years ago. Nancy, born and bred in California, moved to New York.  We leave our “homes” for many different reasons, to create homes elsewhere.  All for the good. And that we will share in our show.

If you can, join us. If you have friends in the Bay Area, send them along. Here’s a link to the show – Linda & Nancy at the Rrazz Room

I am a WIFE and other ramblings on a “new” life!

I got married 23 days ago.

Steve & Linda before the ceremony; photo: Cynthia

I had 40 years between marriage #1 and #2 – but I can say with certainty, that #2 is a keeper. Just before I met him, I  got to a deep understanding in myself that should I stay single and never have the “love of my life” in my life, I would regret that. It’s not bad to regret something – it’s fighting the regret and wanting it to go away that is bad. I knew I would regret it, and I knew that from time to time, I would be very sad about that – but only about that. I was not going to regret my life. So a shift took place at that moment, when I made a larger commitment to myself – that being to my happiness. And doing those things that brought me joy. I started singing again. That was 10 years ago.

Three months later I met him. Less than a year later, we starting living together (after living alone for over 30 years) and now, this man is my HUSBAND. (I am practicing saying HUSBAND and WIFE – it’s like a foreign language to me).

Well … after 9 years, and 8 of them living together, we did it. We got married. Folks are asking me, “How’s married life?”  I can say definitively, that it is different. And it is subtle.  I will continue to observe this and comment, but at first, we became kinder to each other. It’s not that we weren’t kind to each other, we were. But perhaps knowing that we’re not planning on “getting out,” that we have actually closed that door, makes our disagreements less frequent and less intense (we’re both really intense people.) We are finding our way with more humor, and we always had humor. It’s just that it is different. We are truly “best friends.” And that, I love.